Blog-o-Metrics – In Which Regrettable Decisions Are Made, Leading to Predictable Results

Good Idea – Raising your Klout score over the last month, adding twitter followers, and being generally more engaged in social media. Noble ideas each and every one, and all carried out with the wit, verve, and panache for which I am known, as evidenced here.

Bad Idea – Not updating your blog pretty much ever so that it languishes like a patient with some chronic wasting disease brought on by gypsy dark magic – ever withering, never dying.
Let’s see what that looks like, shall we:

Terrible blog traffic stats - OR - WORLD's BEST TOBOGGAN RUN?

Alright, now look away. It’s impolite to stare. What were you, raised by wolves? Anyway, moving on…

The Greatest hits for the last 30 days, such as they are:
Top Pages – All Time
Home page 167
Podcasts 34
About 19
Clips 12
CV 11

If we needed confirmation that the blog is currently functioning better as a business card than as a blog, here it is in spades. So that’s a thing that is. Onto referrers for the last month…
Referrer Views 1 1

Oh, now come on – that’s just sad. Move along, folks. Nothing to see here. Maybe the next statistic will be a touch less cringe inducing. Maybe? Yeah? Maybe?
Search Views
ian chant 4
cybernetic chant 2
microphotographs bacteria 1
katydid 1
“ian chant” 1
time travel and chanting 1

Ok, yeah – that’s moderately less wince-worthy, if only thanks to the phrase ‘cybernetic chant, which as you may know, is my highest aspiration in life.
And onto the final ingredient in Blog Shame Pie – click throughs for the last 30 days. I’ll tell you, folks, this one is shaping up to be a real shitshow, so let’s just plaster on some fake smiles and plow through, shall we?

No, that’s not a typo. Just a distinct lack of any – ANY – click throughs in the last month.
Take it away, Charlie!
System Audio 20110504 2359

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